Jump to content

Welcome to Large Scale Modeller: The home of the large scale military model builder. 

Jeff

Sad phone call.....

Recommended Posts

So,..................................... this afternoon, I am sitting on my fat ass in the house ( it snowed yesterday so no going outside ) watching an old re-run of Ice Pilots, and the phone rings...................... on the other end is a friend of mine who I worked with back i the day ( mid '80's ) on the Highways Department Hydro Seeder......, he says hi, and then a long silence....... then says he is 'diddled"        ( well he didn't use THAT word, but you know what I mean), I asked what he was on about......................... he proceeded to tell me he has about 3 weeks left................... to say I was shocked was an understatement............................I couldn't believe the courage he had to say 'good bye'..... he also told me how much he liked me and how highly he thought of me................ again I was shocked............... he said he was ok with what was going to happen, and he is at peace with it.......... wow...... I'm not sure I could do that .....it really brought a whole lot of stuff to the forefront........ I wasn't sure what to say, but we had a great chat... I told him I was very sad, and he brought a tear to my eye... he said not to worry, all is good.... wow, again, I'm not sure I could do that..... he said he had a good run at it he is 78, which isn't old in my book...... never the less, I am sad today..... damn this stuff is hard.... he is very strong to do that and it was good to hear his voice....... I'm not meaning to be maudlin here or looking for sympathy or anything of the sorts, I just wanted to vent a little and tell you guys, about my friend who is much stronger than me...... oh and he did say with a little humor, that he would 'save a place for me', I thanked him , but said not to hold it too long as I may not be headed in that direction.... he will go north and I'm sure I'm going south......anyway, thanks guys for letting me get this out....I know you have all gone through the same thing, but this is new to me.................my friend Doug is a brave man in my eyes..............................:(  Thanks you guys.....

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had to stop reading half way, to take a breather so my daughter won't see my eyes. this is such a powerful statement or courage and friendship .

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sad indeed, but what a gift! If only we got the opportunity to say goodbye like that more often. Blessings to you and your friend.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks guys, I have to agree totally, I was really taken aback by his candor, and his kindness..... I really felt privileged to be one of the few to receive a call like that, although it is VERY hard to keep from breaking down , but reflecting on his courage and his thoughtfulness, it is something I never ever thought I would be part of....... it is very hard to think about...... thanks for your kind thoughts .......

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, smitty44 said:

Sad indeed, but what a gift! If only we got the opportunity to say goodbye like that more often. Blessings to you and your friend.

You are lucky indeed. As Smitty has said, sad but what courage......harv

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, harv said:

You are lucky indeed. As Smitty has said, sad but what courage......harv

Thanks Harv... you are right....  I couldn't believe it actually..... and I felt kind of unworthy, and all my stuff seemed to pale in light of this...................

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That was a hard one to read Jeff but like the others have said, a very courageous call for your friend to make. Really makes you pause for a moment. 

Carl

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jeff......if you get that shower all over you i can easily understand that you where speechless. I think everybody would be. Life is hard to some people, and if somebody get's that diagnose you can imagine how you would be handling it if they told you such bad news.........i think we all would crack. But on the other hand, whether or not you can handle the fact, you have to deal with it, and people will have different ways to deal with such news. Still i can imagine how you felt being hit by the hammer on the head, i think i would also be shocked, speechless, sad and mad in the same time, asking myself, why.....why can't we do something about this dirty disease, so nobody has ever to get such devastating news again. Two weeks ago, a neighbour lady has died. In november she collapsed while doing her work. They rushed her to the hospital where they diagnosed her with a brain tumor. They couldn't operate her and gave her a few months. Two weeks ago, on a sunny sunday afternoon, i see her husband walking in the garden with some family members, he was crying, other people to. My wife and i said to each other we think her time is come, and indeed, the day after she passed away. 

Life is hard Jeff, no matter if your poor or rich, no matter where you live, a good health is a very precious gift, therefore i always try to live day by day. It's like the song that's now playing on the radio, sadly it's Dutch language but i translate it........" live like it's your last day, live like tomorrow don't exist's"

Courage my friend, i'm sure your friend had a good life, he's a courageous man, respect all the way.

Greetz

Danny

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's tragic news for your friend Jeff, and it must have been a real shock to hear it in the manner you describe. 

I remember when I shared my Cancer diagnosis a few years ago with my best friend from back in School, the one thing that stayed with me was the stunned look on his face at the time. He was there for me and was taking everything in, but it all seemed too much at the time and he seemed to struggle with processing the reality of the situation. This was of course the complete opposite for me... I was way ahead of the curve and the initial shock had given way to determining how to deal with things. This is the most important thing to remember: don't regret things unsaid, or that you weren't as supportive as you might have been in a more measured environment. The main thing is that he chose to call you, and that you were simply there for him. As we are for you.

The silver lining in all this for Doug is that he has the knowledge of his situation, and a little time to deal with the things that need taking care of. He sounds by your conversation to be at peace with things, and taking advantage of whatever positives there are in this for him. 

He must have considered you a good friend.

S

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you guys............. ALL very good comments and information...... yes I agree he is very courageous, and is handling this like 'a man', and a gentleman.....I guess the first thing that got me thinking and took me by surprise is the fact that he took the time to even think of me......and that he thought enough of me to consider calling and talking.... don't get me wrong, it was a great conversation, and he was his usual self, laughing and swearing like normal, a conversation I will not soon forget. It was just quite obviously a phone call that one doesn't get on a regular basis ( and thank the good Lord for that !) and possibly one I will never get again as with most folks. I DO consider myself very lucky to have him think enough of me to take precious time and make the call...... guys, I just want you all to know I didn't make this post for any sympathy , I was just so shocked, surprised, and just a little sad.................. I really wanted to let you guys know just how strong my friend Doug is, and what a surreal ( if that's the correct term) it was, AND that he considered MY thoughts, and feelings by letting me know what's going on BEFORE I read it in the 'paper'....... it just makes a guy think a little, just how much influence one has on another. Seems to me we ( well I , can't speak for you guys) get caught up in all the local, federal, and world B/S, and some times lose sight of the real close stuff...... I'm just a regular guy ( kind of redneckish , sorta..) and don't delve into a lot of philosophical stuff, but today............... there is a ton of stuff that really doesn't matter much...... the phone call , just made me think a little bit , and I wanted to share that with you guys...... 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've often thought that if faced with the same situation, I would do a "Final farewell tour" and start calling up old friends and people I've pissed off in the past.  Then again, I'd be torn to spend as much time with my family as I possibly could before the end.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
26 minutes ago, ScottsGT said:

I've often thought that if faced with the same situation, I would do a "Final farewell tour" and start calling up old friends and people I've pissed off in the past.  Then again, I'd be torn to spend as much time with my family as I possibly could before the end.

Me too..... BUT there maybe something to be said for ONE MORE.........  " F- YOU ! " :rofl:or " Wish you were coming with me"??  or "See you there.... SOON !"........ Knowing how I am, I would probably be just wallowing in my own self pity or something.....  'Oh poor me' comes to mind.... I hope not, and I hope that IF I do find out, that I am to soon depart, I hope I can stand up, like you guys and my friend Doug, and show some dignity.......  I hope.....

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just a quick update for those of you who may be interested, Doug passed away a week ago last Friday, with dignity and his family close....... Keep on Trucking Doug...

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear  mate. As you said, keep on trucking my friend.......harv

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sad news Jeff, I am sorry for your loss my friend .

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks guys, I guess the cancer came back to him with a vengeance, sure wish we could get that under control and find some sort of cure.....

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So sorry to hear Jeff.. I feel for you and his family. I recently lost my neighbour Marc. Never drank, never smoked, looked like a body builder and was a really nice genuine bloke. The big C got him at only 45.

Take it staedy Jeff and keep on trucking Doug..

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Nige......... I appreciate your kind words, now my mom is in the hospital not doing too well, seems to have gone down hill fast, no Big C , but bad heart....... if it isn't one thing it is another.....

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dam Jeff. I hope things do brighten up for you and your mom.....harv

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thoughts and prayers Jeff, hope mom responds to treatment, my parents over the last two have had cancer, heart problems, pancreatitis and now going in to have his pancreas removed..........and they still here and driving me mad and both are 90.......

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, Phil, I know EXACTLY what you're saying.....my mom has this don't give a poop attitude now, nothing is good, and she was put in the hospital to die ( NOT so but...) and my dad is useless getting any meals, deaf as a post, my mom too, worse than my dad and she says I yell at her...................... um.... if one can't hear and is blind...... is there a different way to communicate?  It is getting harder and harder...... I guess the part that hurts the most is, that my mom thinks we are out to hurt her, when in reality that is not even a thought that has ever entered my mind ever, but I guess that is the chemical change in the brain......she has gone down hill really fast, BUT the hospital says if she can walk a little bit and has a husband at home she has to go home....... doesn't matter if any one can look after her or not..... huh..... our Canadian health system at it's finest.....we sure don't take very good care of our veterans or elderly in this part of the world, unlike other countries....................... hhhmmmmm.......... so Cathy and I will do it.....

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel for you Jeff.. I was at this stage with my Nan many years ago. She would whisper in my ear "That bloody Nigel has been round here and stolen all my tools from the shed and borrowed £500 which I'll never get back". Yeah, I'm Nige!!

As you say, the brain plays some funny tricks, but I'm sure, deep down inside your Mom is very happy to see you and appreciates your company.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for that Nige, makes me feel not like such a bad guy... it's really hard to see them fail like this, after SO many years of being independent and vibrant, and I understand how things go, it's just hard to watch, feeling a little bit useless and unable to really help....... I think it's a little bit hard on my dad too, although, again , I'm not sure how much he understands either........ a little bit in denial, I think......... one thing I know for sure, she is frustrated......  thanks Nige, I seriously appreciate your story..................................................................... Will I get like that???   " That Damn Harv came over and took all my models!!" :rolleyes::rofl:Just kiddin Harv !!!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Glad you can laugh my friend !......harv

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, harv said:

Glad you can laugh my friend !......harv

Thanks buddy, you will notice at YOUR expense tho eh?? LOL....... I also know I'm not the first or will be the last, to have to go through this, but I am amazed at the level of anger, from the parents,  my mom was never really angry ( all) the time, my dad lashes out now, as does Cathy's mom quite viciously at times, and for what we see as no reason, but holy cow, when  we get in the firing line ..................... Cathy and I come home and look at each other wondering what we did so wrong, but when we sit and talk a bit we get that it is not pointed at us, but holy cow sometimes we wouldn't know it.  So, it seems we have a fair bit going on, and I'm NOT complaining, but it sure takes our time... my ma in the hospital, dad is useless at kitchen details, so I have to go over get his lunch, then go back and make his dinner, in between taking him to the hospital to see mom, also getting his groceries, and meds.... Cathy and I, ( more Cathy than me ) has been dealing with her dad who had a stroke and was in the hospital for 5 months, now finally in care, taking her mom in to see him ( we live out of town ) over the winter ever second day, and in between running her here and there, now we finally got her into a retirement home, and had to get all the paperwork ( MANY hours doing paper and on the phone)and moving done.....that was mostly Cathy and our daughter Erin...... had to clean the house, get some other stuff into storage ( today ) and then help our daughter and son in law get into the old house......................................not sure how long the Beagle is going to last with her cancer, just bought a new ride, that I can't really get into yet, as we seem to be a little bit busy..................................... BUT I still make a few minutes to come here, and give you guys a hard time.......my little bit of ( in) sanity to start my day...... thanks guys, your kind thoughts and model stories keep me going...... this is a real good place to hang out......and vent............... thanks guys !:grouphug:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...