I'm sorry Martin. I hope your life here is much better my friend .
My father and me(actually all 5 of us kids) never had a great relationship growing up. Not that he didn't love us, just a busy navy man. But when my youngest brother died 17 yrs ago, he changed, well all of us did. He was much more involved in all of our lives, hugged more talked more.it was after that that our relationship changed. Then, after my mom died our relationship became the one I always wanted. Then a year after mom he passed. He never was a selfish person thank goodness. Ok, enough of that......