Administrators Clunkmeister Posted January 24, 2020 Administrators Share Posted January 24, 2020 Last night at zero dark thirty my wife wakes me up in a panic, saying that I gotta kill a huge spider climbing up the bedroom wall. Half asleep, I dutifully leap into action, run and get the flyswatter, and when I return 10 seconds later she hollers that how in heck do I expect to kill a huge tarantula with a flyswatter? Go get a shovel! Now, I’m wide awake. I’ve never seen a local tarantula climb a wall. They’d fall and burst open. maybe I better get my pistol because this might be something sinister. Meanwhile, no sign of giant man eating spider, I pull the curtains back, nothing. Look on the floor, nothing. Check all around. Nothing. Absolutely zero sign of that dastardly arachnid. She was dreaming and woke me right up in the middle of the good part of a great dream, dangit. I can’t believe we’re both going senile at once. No booze involved, just cold and flu meds. Freaky. Who says you can’t take a trip and never leave the farm.... 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaS Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 Dreaming about a spider... wow! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smitty44 Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 Paint/glue fumes, duh 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Clunkmeister Posted January 24, 2020 Author Administrators Share Posted January 24, 2020 I didn’t dream about it. She did. I dutifully set out to slay the offending marauder. It never dawned upon me that tarantulas don’t climb walls around here. And most tarantulas here are someone’s pet. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaS Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 41 minutes ago, Clunkmeister said: I didn’t dream about it. She did. I dutifully set out to slay the offending marauder. It never dawned upon me that tarantulas don’t climb walls around here. And most tarantulas here are someone’s pet. I'm trying to teach my granddaughter that spiders aren't interested in biting and eating her. Maybe it'll sink in. Who knows. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biggtim Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 That is hilarious, Ernie!!! Totally sounds like something my wife would do!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HubertB Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 You want a straightforward (and friendly, of course ) answer ? Yes ! Hubert 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocRob Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 If you wouldn't have denied it, I'd say some moonshine was involved , or maybe a wrong late movie, probably by Jack Arnold. Spider stories; Since Sunday our dog was a little nervous in his bed, sniffing and crawling more than usual. I inspected the bed and found nothing, but the nervousness continued. Yesterday I lifted his bed/basket and found a relatively big spider living there. I removed the rogue and everything is fine now. Luckily we have no poisons long leggers here. Cheers Rob 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Desmond Glazebrook Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 I have a large female huntsman spider living with me. I call her Deborah. I was just looking at her. And she at me. We exist in perfect harmony. A couple of years ago I chased a large cockroach under my bed. Hitting my head in the process. I attempted to kill the cockroach. I failed. It ran under my bed. Following my failure, I sat down on my bed to reorient myself. I looked at my bare foot. Standing by my foot I spied a spider attempting communication. I understood, lifted my blanket and off went the spider in pursuit of the roach. Animals are smarter than we think. That is my only spider anecdote. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMackayDall Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 9 hours ago, Clunkmeister said: Last night at zero dark thirty my wife wakes me up in a panic, saying that I gotta kill a huge spider climbing up the bedroom wall. Half asleep, I dutifully leap into action, run and get the flyswatter, and when I return 10 seconds later she hollers that how in heck do I expect to kill a huge tarantula with a flyswatter? Go get a shovel! Now, I’m wide awake. I’ve never seen a local tarantula climb a wall. They’d fall and burst open. maybe I better get my pistol because this might be something sinister. Meanwhile, no sign of giant man eating spider, I pull the curtains back, nothing. Look on the floor, nothing. Check all around. Nothing. Absolutely zero sign of that dastardly arachnid. She was dreaming and woke me right up in the middle of the good part of a great dream, dangit. I can’t believe we’re both going senile at once. No booze involved, just cold and flu meds. Freaky. Who says you can’t take a trip and never leave the farm.... Do you realise how big a Huntsman Spider is here in Australia. ( about a 1/48 scale version, if a Tarantella is a 1/16 scale .. ie I'm guessing but if you are scared of spiders they are pretty big, but less than half as big as a Tarantella ) They are for us humans harmless, but they do like to disguise themselves ( badly ) as hanging pottery, cuts or plates etc. They also travel in pairs.. as in, if you remove one there other partner is close by. Often experienced whilst driving in a car, they may suddenly rush out across your windscreen.. not to bad if they are on the outside, more often than not, they are on the inside !! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spitfire Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 When we lived in Sydney, I was getting up for work one morning and bent over to kiss the wife and suddenly she screamed, looking up I could see why (it wasn't the sight of me) there was a huge Huntsman on the ceiling above the bed. However he was docile enough to allow me to shepherd him (or her) with a brush across the ceiling, out of the bedroom door, across the hall and out of the front door, I was very relieved as I don't like killing things and it was awfully big. Another time one must have laid eggs in the hallway somewhere as the hall walls and ceiling were covered in hundreds of small spiders which must have just hatched, took ages to get rid of them. Cheers Dennis 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 I had a dream I had a pet peacock. Even wagged its tail. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dog Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 Senile or just ghosts ? I sat straight up in bed one night and said "What" when I could of sworn I heard my wife calling me. She had passed away almost a decade before this. For years after she passed I would wake up in middle of the night and find that the ceiling fan was running full speed. My wife used to turn it on when she was having hot flashes. Ghosts again ? Maybe just a trucker with a CB I don't know but it hasn't happened for a while now so maybe she is finally at rest. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumm Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 3 hours ago, Sir Desmond Glazebrook said: I have a large female huntsman spider living with me. I call her Deborah. I was just looking at her. And she at me. We exist in perfect harmony. A couple of years ago I chased a large cockroach under my bed. Hitting my head in the process. I attempted to kill the cockroach. I failed. It ran under my bed. Following my failure, I sat down on my bed to reorient myself. I looked at my bare foot. Standing by my foot I spied a spider attempting communication. I understood, lifted my blanket and off went the spider in pursuit of the roach. Animals are smarter than we think. That is my only spider anecdote. This sounds like... You have an understanding with a hairy-legged Lady called Deb, who comes around occasionally and does your cleaning! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Clunkmeister Posted January 24, 2020 Author Administrators Share Posted January 24, 2020 36 minutes ago, Wumm said: This sounds like... You have an understanding with a hairy-legged Lady called Deb, who comes around occasionally and does your cleaning! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Clunkmeister Posted January 24, 2020 Author Administrators Share Posted January 24, 2020 I actually have an understanding with the local tarantula population. We know of sizable nests of them about 300 ft from my house and I actually welcome them in my yard. They do a very thorough job of keeping the scorpion, grasshopper, and cricket population in check. They don't bother me one little bit, actually. As long as they don't enter my home, I'll do what I can to aid their staying in my vicinity. Once in a blue moon one will make it's way into my house and I'll shepherd it out the door. However, I have a HUGE problem with Black Widows. Those bleeding things cause people more visits to the ER and occasionaly the ICU than all others combined. A distant second is the godforsaken Brown Recluse. Those things will get you and you won't even realize it until your hand starts festering and falls off. Back to the original story. Last night, I snuck into my bedroom "Elmer Fudd on the hunt" style last night (be vewwey vewwy quiet...), we're hunting waskawwy fuzzy spiders, and it earned me a dirty look and a house slipper tossed at my head. I really must refrain from prodding the War Department. It put's the stash in jeopardy..... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumm Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 5 minutes ago, Clunkmeister said: Back to the original story. Last night, I snuck into my bedroom "Elmer Fudd on the hunt" style last night (be vewwey vewwy quiet...), we're hunting waskawwy fuzzy spiders, and it earned me a dirty look and a house slipper tossed at my head. I really must refrain from prodding the War Department. It put's the stash in jeopardy..... I understand the dirty look. I mean, all those eyes staring back at you. But can you explain how you taught a Spider to throw a slipper? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 12 hours ago, Clunkmeister said: I didn’t dream about it. She did. I dutifully set out to slay the offending marauder. It never dawned upon me that tarantulas don’t climb walls around here. And most tarantulas here are someone’s pet. AND, all these Heroics, done in your old white BAGGY underwear............... but no cape or mask................ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Clunkmeister Posted January 24, 2020 Author Administrators Share Posted January 24, 2020 12 minutes ago, Jeff said: AND, all these Heroics, done in your old white BAGGY underwear............... but no cape or mask................ Shiny arsed nekkid, actually. What a hero!! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 1 minute ago, Clunkmeister said: Shiny arsed nekkid, actually. What a hero!! Well, Like Paul Harvey used to say, "Now you know the rest of the story"........................ there probably was a spider, but when it saw what was coming at it, it exited stage left ! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Clunkmeister Posted January 24, 2020 Author Administrators Share Posted January 24, 2020 34 minutes ago, Wumm said: I understand the dirty look. I mean, all those eyes staring back at you. But can you explain how you taught a Spider to throw a slipper? yeees, my diction wasn't exact, but my wife was sitting in bed, saw my antics, and tossed her slipper at me. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bomber_County Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 1 hour ago, Clunkmeister said: Shiny arsed nekkid, actually. What a hero!! Nooooooooooooooooo......I can’t unread that........... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GusMac Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 There are advantages to living in the frozen north of Scotland sometimes. The most venomous things we have around here are bees, wasps, both summer only, and one of my wife's sisters! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Clunkmeister Posted January 24, 2020 Author Administrators Share Posted January 24, 2020 22 minutes ago, GusMac said: There are advantages to living in the frozen north of Scotland sometimes. The most venomous things we have around here are bees, wasps, both summer only, and one of my wife's sisters! Yikes. I have an ex wife like that. A venomous forked tongue that one has. Our scorpions aren't so bad. They'll make you hop, no doubt, but it's much like a Yellowjacket wasp except that the excruciating pain stays for 6 hours, not just 30 minutes. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wumm Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 6 hours ago, Clunkmeister said: yeees, my diction wasn't exact, but my wife was sitting in bed, saw my antics, and tossed her slipper at me. Well then, I'm not surprised in that case. Going in all Elmer Fudd on her. Masher! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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